Parenting is a Practice

​It has been a very busy month.  The kids went back to daycare for two days each week and some businesses and services have started to open up.  This month, I had a lot of sessions with children and their parents, and adults who have experienced childhood trauma. I have also completed some specific training on helping children cope with anxiety, grief, and loss. In addition, I completed some general training about the impacts of trauma and some alternative treatments. As such, I would like to share a few resources for parents to help understand and help their children.
 
When I became a parent and started learning about the developing brain and how to parent my children, I realized that a lot of the skills are applicable for everyone regardless if you are a parent or not. I learned that we have to regulate our own emotions and increase our own self-awareness to understand what makes us tick in order to set a good example for our kids and to be calm, assertive, and empathetic. Setting expectations and boundaries isn’t just a parenting tool, but can also be used in all of our relationships.
 
The impacts of trauma on children have significant consequences for the developing brain and therefore create a variety of difficulties in adulthood such as, problems regulating emotions, challenges in developing healthy relationships, and addictions. While there is hope and treatment available for survivors of trauma, not everyone gets the help they need and these problems are often passed down generation after generation.
 
I have become very interested in brain development and parenting because it teaches me so much about human behavior and myself. I would never consider myself the perfect parent, nor do I believe it exists. Abuse in any form is not a form of discipline and there are no good excuses. We are all dealt with different challenges in our lives, but we have choices to take personal responsibility and to ask for help and help ourselves improve our situations. Parenting is a practice and everyday our behaviors and responses to other behaviors can have an impact on those around us: our children, our neighbors, and our selves.
 
There are so many books, websites, and courses available to provide skills and support for parents and children. Here is a list of resources about parenting that I recommend:
 
Books:
 
Parenting From the Inside Out [Daniel Siegal]
 
Whole Brain Child [Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson]
 
No Drama Discipline [Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson]
 
Last Child in the woods book [Richard Louv]
 
Self-compassion for parents [Susan M.Pollak, EdD]
 
The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion & Connection [Brene Brown]
 
Here are some books about understanding trauma and the treatment available:
 
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
 [Bessel van der Kolk M.D]
 
Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma [Peter A. Levine]
 
When the Body Says No: Understanding the Stress- Disease Connection [Gabor Mate M.D]
 
Mindful Compassion [Choden and Paul Gilbert]

Here are a few websites that offer resources and educational material for parents. Free Forest school has been added to this list, as I believe in the benefits of child-led play, exercise, and getting outside in nature.
 
www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
 
www.heysigmund.com
 
www.neufeldinstitute.org
 
www.simplicityparenting.com
 
https://www.freeforestschool.org/free-forest-school-find/